Hi everyone,

 

It's Sabbath afternoon, October 4, 2008. I'm staying at the Ethiopian Union of Seventh-day Adventist office building. They have three guest rooms. I came to Addis Ababa last Wednesday so I could retrieve our video camera that was kept by the Customs office. The hospital vehicle was going to Addis and if I wanted to get my camera this was a good chance. I was given about a 45 minuite notice so I packed my packback and headed out with Ashebir the driver. His name means terrorist, but he is already a good frined. I should have obtiained permission to bring the camera into the country prior to our arrival but I forgot to do that.

 

The guest room I'm staying in for 5 nights cost 120 birr per night for a total of 600 bir or $60.The unskilled employees at Gimbie Adventist Hospital earn about 320 birr per month or less. It was very hard for me to pay 600 birr for my room. You should see the simple, poor conditions those employees live in. I felt something in my stomach when I paided that money for my room when there are so many here that don't have basic needs such as food, shelter or parents.

 

Then on Thursday I went to the Ministry of Information offices in downtown Addis Ababa. Addis Ababa means "new flower". Giram drove me to where I needed to go. Girma, I learned that day, is a very wise man. He is 70 years old. He knows his bible well and he knows alot about world politics He taught me some things as we drove and he talked. I had to go to the Ministry of Information to get a letter giving me permission to bring the camera into the country and then we had to take that letter to Customs at the airport to retrieve the camera.. I like Girma very much. At the Ministry of Information Girma had to argue a little with the people to persuade them to give me the letter. When we left the office Girma said that it is good to have to persuade someone to do something, that means it is a worthy thing to do. He said like when he asked his wife to marry him. She resisted a little and he had to persuade her and then she said yes and he has been happy ever since. By 3:30 Thursday afternoon I had the camera. The Customs official said that if I do not have the camera with me when I leave the country they will tax me $2000 to $3000 US.

 

I was done with what I needed to do here in Addis and I would not be leaving for four more days.

 

I had brought the book "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers with me and had been reading it in the evenings in Gimbie. So I brought the book along to Addis, God had wanted to spend some quiet time with me here in Addis and I love Him for planning that. During my free time here in Addis I had been reading Redeeming Love. About 3.5 years ago Cathy had read it to me each evening for about two weeks. I loved to listen to her read to me. If you have not read Redeeming Love, GET THE BOOK NOW AND READ IT. You will want to read it a couple of times though if you are living from your heart.

 

After Cathy had read this book to me I remember thinking, I'm most like the charcter Michael Hosea, the good guy in the story. I thought I had the desires and needs of others above my own. But through reading the book again I see that I AM Angel, the prostitute in the story. I've been very good at deceiving myself about myself. Jesus has been my beloved all my life but I have sold my heart to the enemy. By that I mean I claim to care about needy people. I don't. I claim to love the people Jesus loves. I don't. I claim to be generous. I'm not. I claim to love others. I don't.

 

From reading this book again I am beginning to realize I don't have to earn love from God, Jesus or anyone else. Love comes to me in spite of my behavior. No one can ever earn love from someone else. If you do earn love from someone, then it is not love. Cathy loved me unconditionally but I thought I had to earn her love not just accept it from her. She was not perfect but she did love me unconditionally, I will never forget her love.

 

In this book, the character Angel, also taught me that I don't know how to love without wanting something in return, for that is how Jesus loves me. Oh, there is one thing that Jesus wants in return for His love for me. He wants me to love Him back. From what Jesus has showed me since Cathy died I could now love her as she wanted, needed and desired.

This book has changed me in the last few days. I am beginning to see how it is possible to love without desiring anything as a reward, except love in return.

 

My room here in Addis is in the middle of downtown in a city of 9 million people. Not a nice city. Most you you know that I like to take walks so I have been taking a walk here each day. The sidwalks are full of children begging, people who limp or can't walk at all. Many have not function in their legs so they literally drag themselves along the sidewalk as they beg. On the few blocks I walk I will see two or three draging themselves along with their legs out behind them. I've seen several with elephantitis. It's when lymphnodes in the legs and feet swell.Their feet and legs are huge. Those people drag along the ground also. There are many, many young woman usually with one child, they are dressed like they come from the north part of the country, from a rural tribe. There are many of them begging all over the place as I take my walks along the streets.

 

But this afternoon was difficult. I came across someone literally sitting in the gutter. I could not tell if it were a man or a woman. I will call it a man because it gives me a sick feeling inside to call it a woman. The man was trying to cover his face with his hand and a filty rag. His teeth looked gross sticking out at wieird angles. The skin hung away from below his eyes making him look gross. I turned my head away. The clothes he had on were little more than filth rags, just like our rightousness. He was about 20 feet ahead of me when I first saw him. He was barefood. All but 2 or 3 of his toes were totally gone. He was holding out one had for money. All of his fingers were a third of their original length or less. The lower half of his face had thick white scales flaking from it. I rushed by him repused by just looking at him. I remember actually feeling a little naseauted as I walked by him, I was so repulsed. Within getting a few steps past him, my heart thought of Jesus touching and healing the lepers.

 

I thought this must be leperosy.

 

I stopped and started walking back towards him. As I walked towards him I took 10 birr out of my pocket - $1. I rolled it up to give to him. Then I unrolled it to make it longer so that when I gave it to him there would be a lesser chance that I would touch him. I thought Jesus touched the lepers. But I couldn't touch this person.

 

He reached up with both hands to take the money because his fingers were too short to grasp the money with one hand. Fingers were maybe an inch long. Then my hand touched his and I pulled away quickly. The expression he gave was one of appreciation. I turned and walked the couple of blocks back to my room. The first thing I did when I got back to my room was to wash my hands thouroghly with soap.

 

I know I am not perfect but Jesus is working and drawing me to be like him because my heart ached with pain and sorrow at seeing a human being that looked SO unloveable.

 

The book Redeeming Love has showed me that I'm a repulsive, nauseating beggar that is loved by a passionate, unconditional, forgiving, unchanging, everlasting and self-sacrifing bridegroom whose name is Jesus.

 

How did Jesus feel when he walked the streets full of beggers, cripples, prostitutes and pharisees? I'm beginning to see a little what He felt like, so very little, because he is God and I am the begger.

 

I can not find ANY words that begin to express the love I feel towards my Jesus and the love that I now experience from HIm.

 

Jesus is guiding me very slowing along the way to Him. He wants to take me along slowly but I want to go fast. I'm learning to slow down and not push Jesus along.

 

It's easy to skip meals here. Everyone on the street is asking for food by their gesture.

 

Only 8% of the people in the world own cars and I have three.

 

I've been changed this last couple of days as I was alone with Jesus in a city of 9 million. I used to dread being alone.

 

You may pass the email along to anyone, I actually hope you pass it alone. Being rich, and you are rich, blinds us Americans. Americans spend $10 Billion on ice cream. How far could that go in helping hungry people.

 

With Ahava. (Ahava is Hebrew that means connected love).

Mark